Funny Email about kids........

I saw this funny excerpt circulating on other people's blogs. It started out as an email, I think but it is really funny so I am posting it here.

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,

whether they are our own,

grandchildren,

nieces,

nephews,

or students…

here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,

you can take comfort from the thought that

even God’s omnipotence did not extend

to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,

God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was

“DON’T!”

“Don’t what? ”

Adam replied.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”

God said.

“Forbidden fruit?

We have forbidden fruit?

Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !”

“No Way! ”

”Yes way !”

“Do NOT eat the fruit! ”

said God.

“Why? ”

“Because I am your Father and I said so ! ”

God replied,

wondering why He hadn’t stopped

creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,

God saw His children having an apple break

and He was ticked!

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit? ”

God asked.

“Uh huh,”

Adam replied.

“Then why did you? ”

said the Father.

“I don’t know,”

said Eve.

“She started it! ”

Adam said.

“Did not! ”

“Did too! ”

“DID NOT! ”

Having had it with the two of them,

God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve

should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and

they haven’t taken it,

don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,

what makes you think it would be

a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.

They will choose your

nursing home one day.

AND FIN ALLY: IF YOU ! HAVE A LOT OF TENSION

AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,DO WHAT IT SAYS

ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

“TAKE TWO ASPIRIN” AND “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN”!!!!!

Hahaha, I hope that puts a smile on your face.

**********

Am I a bad influence?

Jayne (my best friend in University) seems to think so after I brought her to "Made with Love" (a local scrapbook store) on Sunday after lunch. Now, she is kinda hooked onto the thing. Bad enough as it is, I think I got her hooked on blogging too. So now, she has 2 new hobbies which should not sound so bad.

But that is before you know our characters. Me and Jayne, we are addicts. Yes, when we are addicted to a new hobby, we are relentless. We will spend our time, effort and money on it like there is no tomorrow. In USA, it was first Victoria's Secret, then beading then came the beanie animal soft toys and for Jayne, another step further, her love for the mini shoes.

So, in our cases, having a new hobby is going to have a financial strain on us but what can we do? We just love having hobbies, even if it last just a short while. So, good luck Jayne.

Anyways, Jayne just informed me that she is getting married next year and I am so happy for her. I think that she is just a lovely person and she deserves to be happy, have someone care for her and start her own family. So, the guy who is marrying her is really lucky and I suppose he deserves her after waiting for 15 years.

I really do wish her happiness and when I met her on Sunday, I wanted to pray for her yet being an "absent-minded preggie", I forgot to do that so this is my prayer for her. Hope she reads it.

Dear Lord,

I pray for my dear friend, Jayne, whom you have put in my life to bless me tremendously. Without her, I would never have joined Bible Study in Madison and gotten to know You. Without her, my University days will definitely be less adventurous. Father, I thank You for this friendship that has managed to continue so many years and thank you that it is a friendship that will last many more years. Thank you, Lord for blessing us with friendship.

I pray today for Jayne and her upcoming wedding. I pray that you will bless her and YS in their wedding preparations, for smooth logistics planning and for a beautiful wedding. I pray that by planning the wedding together, You will also bless their relationship and allow them to be closer to each other and also to You. I pray that even if there are stress and unpleasantness during the preparations, they will end up closer and understanding each other better.

Lastly, I just pray that you will bless their marriage. Let them be there for each other, learn from each other, support each other and most of all LOVE each other always. I pray that in their marriage, they will be able to grow closer to You as well. Bless their marriage and bless them so that they will multiply and have a family. Thank You, Dear Lord for all Your blessings.

Amen

New Diet Regime Required!!!

I weigh 68.9 kg today at the gynae which is like a 2 kg gain from 2 weeks ago. Meaning 1 kg gain per week. Dr. Tan shook her head at me again until she say my swollen "pig trotters" feet and she consented that maybe the weight gain was partially due to water retention. So, her orders were to cut down on starch and salt!!!!

Yep, and Bakong weighs a taaaadaaaaa 2.475kg which is almost a 500g increase since 2 weeks ago. At the rate he is growing, he will be a big baby, at least 3kg at birth so I must give birth early and not carry him to full term. Imagine trying to push a 3kg baby through the birth canal, not fun at all.

No wonder he is kicking me with more strength now. Last night, he was moving a great deal and my tummy was bulging out in different places and you can actually see the buldge moving from left to right or up to down. I am really worried he is going to break his own water home. Baby is still heads down so it is a good sign.

And so, Bakong and Me are on a new diet regime......eat less food and drink more milk and soya. :-)

**********

Oh, and what did Dr. Tan do when I showed her my birthplan? She looked through it, with a frown, of course. And said: Dr. Tan: It is all standard from the internet....... Then she came upon point F, the part about NO episiotomy......

Dr. Tan: You don't want episiotomy ah? I will let you tear, but I warn you that Asians don't do well with tears. So you want to tear or for me to cut?

Then, of course, I go:

Me: Cut.....

Dr. Tan: Ok, then you better amend it and give one to me and one attach to your admission letter.

*Sigh* Maybe I would not change it.......God will minimize my tear, right? Just need to have faith. I do not want a scar on my birth canal. By the way, Dr. Tan requested for the labor ward nurse to shave my vulva when I admit for labor. Maybe I oughta go for a Brazilian but then again, will I be putting Bakong through unnecessary stress?

Birth Plan...

I am 35 weeks today and am visiting my gynae. She is a really good and motherly gynae but I am told that she is very traditional and strict. I am bringing my birthplan along to show her so I really am (crossing my fingers and toes) hopping that she is receptive to this.

Oh dear, I forgot to bring the mangoes for her. You DO NOT want to make your gynae unhappy cos you and baby's lives are in her hands on D-day.......

Dear Lord, I just pray that Dr. Tan is ok with my birthplan and not be annoyed with me. .........

Bad Mood....

all day long. I have been having really bad moods lately and snapping at RH all the time. Well, it really was partially his fault. He is always perpetually busy and can't be reached via anything (email, sms, phone calls). And he comes home really late at night and proceeds to engage in endless calls which usually ends past midnight by which time, I will be totally wiped out and snoring.

Finally received the socks I ordered. They are so absolutely adorable. Will proceed to distribute them to friends. Already gave 3 pairs to SB for her son J2. I really love the mary janes for girls. I wanna baby gal too. Next one, I promise.....hahaha, as if I can control the outcome.

{Top 3 for Bakong and bottom 3 for friends}

**********

When I asked RH whathe was going to do this weekend, he actually has the nerve to reply:
"Nothing, exercise?"

This, of course, sent me ballistic and into another tantrum and outburst about how irresponsible he is and how he should try to be more responsible now that he is going to be a father........blah blah blah.

Yeah, after monday's talk about preparing the bomb shelter for the maid (who is coming next month by the way), I thought that he would be prepared to measure the place, clear the bomb shelter and shop for a bed in IKEA. Am I the only one who is expecting a REAL baby to descend on us next month? Why is no one panicking?

URGH!!!!!!!

Time to

update with pictures. Too lazy to blog with words anyways.

{JP, in his swimming suit getting ready to jump in the pool }

{JP, at Globetrotters}

Oh and he has gone back to Indonesia with his parents yesterday. That stops the nightly outings mom has with JP. Yup, for the last week, mom has faithfully without fail took JP out for walks or drives every night and shopping every weekend. Well, she only gets to spend time with her grandchild only this time. Who can blame her?

{me @ 32 weeks, see the stretchmarks}

{Me @ 32 weeks, belly button is popped but as RH says, my belly button is soooo deep that it took so long to pop and even now is just straining to get it all out}

{Nasi Briyani Class I took}

{with Chicken Marsala}

{and Mutton Dalcha}

{not forgetting achar, of course}

{Christmas Cookie Decorating Class: Snowflake Gingerbread Cookie}

{Assorted Cookies}

{Cookie Tags/Ornaments}

{Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread Man}

{Christmas Tree Cookie}

I am not taking anymore classes until Bakong is born. Too stressful to be pottering around a crowded kitchen and I don't like to take demo classes. Also, I have to change my position every 10-15 mins or else some part of my back will ache. Can't wait to be normal again but then again, I wish Bakong will not come out cos now I can just bring him anywhere with no fuss.....hehehehe. That is selfish me speaking again.

I am 33 weeks pregnant......7 weeks more to go

Phew, it has been a terrible one week. I was down with diarhoea last wednesday and was in bed for 2 days. Moved back to my parents' on Thursday and then got stung by a hornet on Sunday. Can you believe how unlucky I am?

I am now in my 33rd week. Went to the gynae yesterday and baby was 1.99 kg. If he continues to gain 700g per month, he would be about 2.7-3.0kg during birth. However, this is just an estimate, he might be heavier or lighter. Baby is growing well, gynae says. I had to move forward my gynae visit to Monday instead of Thursday because of a rash on my tummy, thighs and arms. I was worried that it might have been caused by the stupid hornet sting and that it would affect baby but alas, Dr. Tan says that hornet/bee sting is quite localized. They do not spread. Thank God. The rashes on my tummy are just regular prenancy related rash. Because it was a last minute visit to the gynae, I had to wait for 3 hours just to see her and I did not even bring my birth plan.

How did I get a hornet sting, you might ask! Seriously, it is kinda stupid. I was just pottering around in mom's room when I stepped on it. YES!, I told you it was kinda stupid but my mom's bedroom floor is kinda a dark colored granite so it was hard to see a black hornet on it. Apparantly, my house was infested with dead hornets lying on the floor that day because of a guava tree right outside my home. So, I was just really unlucky. It really hurt when I first stepped on it and SY had to take out the sting using a tweezer. Now, it is just swollen and REALLY REALLY itchy. Unluckily for me, I was stung at the sole of my foot. Have you ever been bitten by a mosquito on the sole of your feet? Now, just imagine the itch to be 10 times worse. Yes, it really is and whereas mosquito bites last for a day or two at most, the stupid sting is still itching now. I need to go and buy Calamine Lotion ASAP. Apparently, the usual ointment does not work.

Dr. Tan also gave me a letter to keep with me at all times and to bring to the hospital when I am in labor. Yes, the baby is really coming. Now that I am in my 33rd week, it has just become REAL. I mean, I am gonna be a mom........YIKES! I can't even take care and entertain my nephew for more than 2 hours......what am I gonna do? Also, what if I have no time for myself or to do my hobbies? I know that sounds absolutely selfish but seriously, I need some alone time too. What if I become a bad parent?

Plus, I have not even completed my baby things, I am still short of:
1. Baby Wipes
2. Cotton Wool
3. Nappy Liners
4. Baby Body Wash
5. Cotton Buds
6. Disposable Diapers
7. Barrier Cream
and such......

Actually, I dunno wat else to get. Care to remind me what I have left out?

What is up with me?

Well, frankly speaking I have been dead beat! Been having late nights and early mornings. Why? Because last week, I come home late almost everyday. Antaenatal Class on Wed, Alpha Thanksgiving Dinner on Thurs, cooking class on Fri, baking class on Sat.

Normally, it would have been fine but as you know, I have been staying at Starville the past week which means that instead of coming home to bathe and sleep, I now have to clear up some stuff before going to bed. Then in the morning, I gotta prepare my own breakfast although it is usually just sandwich or something so I gotta wake up early. I have not even really touch on my cross stitch or scrapbook.

I don't think I can take much of this anymore. Anyways, the kids came to swim on Sunday and we prepared dinner, another tiring day but we had fun. I think I inherited my parents' genes on loving to host dinner and parties at home. If it was up to Ron, he would definitely not invite anyone. He just hates the hassel.

Also, we went maid shopping on Sunday, not that we are buying a maid, rather hiring maid really. And, good news, we found one that we reasonably like. It is not easy, mind you to find one that has experience in infant care. Our criteria were kinda strict to begin with and so this was the only maid that seemed to fit all our criteria. I hope that she is the right maid. In Singapore, because you are not allowed to meet or talk to the maid before you hire them, getting a good maid is really by chance. There is only so much you can know about a maid through her biodata. I have been asking God to provide me with a good maid the first time, a maid that we could be comfortable leaving Bakong with alone. I prayed again last night that if it isthe maid for us, then let her still be available today. And she is so I hope I am not misinterpreting God.

So, I took the compulsory test for first time employee, just got one question wrong so I don't understand how anyone can fail the test 3 times. And we are going to confirm the maid today. So happy that another thing is done before Bakong comes.

Antaenatal Class

I know I mentioned that I was attending Antaenatal Class but did I say that my instructor is the famous Mrs. BB Wong? Well, she is famous because she has been invited on TV Shows, radios and been asked to give talks. Her credentials cannot fit into an A4 paper.

After attending 4 sessions of her class, I think that she is really experienced and really knows her stuff very well. She will also tell you exactly what you need to do and what not.....would not even go by the textbook if she feels that it is not beneficial or is not relevant for Singaporean mothers. Truly, she also has to be very passionate about her work to be in this line for sooooo long and to be constantly upgrade herself on this matter. From her stories, I really do not think that she is planning to retire anytime soon.

I am really glad that we end up taking her class even though I was considering not to go for Antaenatal Class as I was not sure it was beneficial. But I learnt quite a fair bit the last few sessions and RH learnt plenty more.

Yesterday, we learnt how to take care of newborns. Bathing, soothing, changing diapers and how to carry babies. Each couple was given a baby doll complete with diapers, mittens and vests. The husbands were asked to use the dolls as practice on how to carry the babies an change them. It was kinda cute to see all the husbands carrying baby dolls and trying to treat them like real life babies. RH looks absolutely cute and serious. Wished I had taken a picture of him with the baby doll. I think that it got kinda real for him for a while. Even after the demonstration, he was busy practising again and again how to carry the baby doll. It was so endearing to see that.

Here are some pictures of the class and of me holding the baby doll. There was only one baby boy doll in the whole class for some reason and bingo, we got the ONLY boy baby in class.

{Our baby boy}

{Other mummy and daddy practising on diapering their babies}

{Me trying out one of the "How to soothe crying baby" technique}

PS: I am seriously considering setting up a separate blog for Bakong now. I think it would be fun and less cluttered for people who wants to follow up on his milestones. What do you think? Give me your feedback.

31 weeks and 4 days

Yikes, it is happening..........stretch marks and swollenness......today, my sis SY commented that I have grown fatter as my face as my jawline is chubbier but I think it is due to the swollenness. Why? Cos I have not gained much weight in my third trimester. Shucks. I have a wedding to attend next Sunday and I do not want to look bloated.

Also, I found my first stretch mark this morning when I looked in the mirror. Major sadnes.....I was actually leaping with joy last week cos no stretchmark and I seriously thought that I would be able to make it through the rest of the pregnancy with NO stretchmarks as my mom did. She went through 6 pregnancies.

**********

Newphew J1 is in town and his mom is gone to the USA. Yeah, J1 is spending 2 weeks at my parents' place and he is going to Montessori childcare every weekday. The whole family really thought that J1 was gonna be an absolute terror but it turns out that he is quite alright when his parents are not around. Yep, he will throw these absolute horrid tantrums when his parents are within sight. Throwing things on the floor, spitting out his food and screaming in a really high pitch sound.

Other than that, he is really cute and cool. J1 is actually pretty smart. He started walking at 10 months and now at 22 months, he is able to repeat any words that adults speak and he can even sing and carry the tune pretty well. I am so proud of him. Hahaha. He learns new things fast but can get easily distracted which slows down his learning. He is quite darn adorable after some time. I realized that this is the first time that J1 is able to spend this considerable amount of time with his mom's family. Just hope that we get to spend more time with J2 also.

**********

My other newphew, ZH has graduated from Montessori kindergarden and he will be going away to Primary 1 next year. My oh my, they grow up so fast. I guess, it only hits us that he is growing up when they reach P1, another milestone in their lives. ZH is truly the most obedient boy I have ever seen. He has been like that since young and I truly love him to bits.